Of Future and Possibilities

There have been many times I've questioned myself, questioned my motives, and questioned You, God. Doubt crept in and shaped my mind to fear so many things: life, love, ability, strength, security, and will. I thought I went "through the fire" and found my identity a long time ago but as I have been growing in years the truth is setting in very clearly.

I have not been through much at all.

In fact, I believe I am just beginning many things in life. But as I venture to discover, recover, and take risks I must fully admit one vital thing: I cannot do it alone. I need You. I need Your strength, Your wisdom, Your guidance, Your love and Your mercy and grace.

You always point to Your Word as the example I am supposed to live by throughout my life. So, instead of looking at the world's examples of role models, I am looking through Your Word. Because I am a woman I believe it would be creative of me to find a woman in Your Word as a mentor. After looking through the pages for a while I have found one that stands out among so many amazing women. I see Esther.



Yes, she is a favorite. She is one of the popular ones. In my opinion, however, she is unique and in many ways, overlooked. I found this explanation of what she teaches through her life:

Esther saved the Jews. Her life teaches us these vital lessons

1. There is a preparation time.
She allowed herself to be prepared for the task. God's preparation time can sometimes be long and uneventful. Moses spent 40 years in the desert looking after sheep before coming to deliver the Israelites. The refining of our characters is very essential to God's plan for our life. God cannot use a proud woman (or man).

2. We need the favour of God.
Esther found favour with the King and so did Mordecai. Even Jesus grew in favour with God and man (Luke 2:52). When you live a life pleasing to God, by obeying His will you will find favour with Him. God will also give you favour with people.

3. God works in His own time and season.
Esther also got her timing right. Maybe God has put it on your heart to do something for Him. Don't just jump into it but wait for his time. Joseph was in jail until it was God's time for him to be released. God will move in His time when we remain faithful and alert to His leading.

4. Your background does not hinder your future with God.
Esther was an orphan. God still exalted her and used her. Some of Jesus' disciples were fishermen, tax collectors and one was a doctor. Your background does not determine what God can do with you. Your faith does.
http://www.wordlibrary.co.uk/article.php?id=159

So let the process of my growing further deepen. I give you all permission to dig out the things hindering me and hurting me. I ask for complete restoration and forgiveness. Please know I'm not asking forgiveness for everything thinking it is a "catch all" for the areas I need to deal with, but I am merely coming to You with a hopeful heart filled with sincere love.

To be honest, I do have a little fear of what may come of this, but this is a healthy fear; a healthy fear. You are going to do great things in my life and for that I will say, here I am Jesus, your servant. Use me to Your greatness, for others, for Your kingdom.

Here's to living like Esther.